Sammy on a treadmillDo I like running? Yes. Do I like running long distances? No. Sure, the thought of joining the cross country team for the fall had crossed my mind, but OH DARN, the deadline for athletes to turn in their physical forms has passed – guess I won’t be subjecting myself to Coach Scott’s minimum runs of four miles. You may be heartbroken because you assume I’d be an asset to the team, but truly I’m only a good sprinter – chasing prey for longer than 12 seconds is something my bod, as great as it is, didn’t evolve to handle. Darwinism, am I right?!?!? Maybe I’m more cut out for track and field instead, I wonder how many records I’d break. Usain Bolt? More like Sammy Sprinter. Catch me on the track in the spring Sabres, I’ll be hunting for first place.